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Date:10/20/2014 3:55:39 PM
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Hey Screecher-Bean
This is just a suggestion for your good Pops, pretend there is a perpetual 4 year old human living with you when it comes to owning a CAG/TAG. WE are the "informants" of the family. And we NEVER forget it either!! So, if your Pops thinks that whispering it, or mumbling something obscene under his breath, we have the hearing of an owl or something close to it. For I have spoken things that have made Mom fall completely out of her chair, looking at me with huge eyes, and mouth gaped open like she had seen the devil himself. The thing was......she was looking at ME!!! To this day, even though I haven't lived with Mom's son for almost 5 years, I still will spout out "OH_____! I'm late for work!" exactly in Mom's son's voice.

But I have ONE saying that Mom doesn't even DARE put to print fearing the goodness in the Universe would converge into a huge admonishment lightening bolt where she happens to be sitting. That is the one that made her fall out of the chair! I had been here for 2 years by then and I was very very angry with Mom. She had been gone a whole MONTH & wasn't giving me the attention I deserved. Only when I'm very angry do I say that saying. It comes out with such hatred, such venom, such malice that it will send a chill down the spine of humans. Yep, I do THAT one in the daughter-in-law's voice. Mom gets very cold with me when I say "nasty" things. Yeah, I do say them and say them in the VOICE of the person I heard say it. Yeah, that "must never be repeated" slur that I fling out comes once in a while, not all that much, but I "save" it. I save it when it will embarrass Mom the most. Like when the Jehovah Witnesses come to the door. Mom's too nice to them. So one good ole' "CRACK _______" comes flying out of my beak, they are RUNNING back to their car!!

Mom's son was a witness to a hold up and a sheriff's deputy came to serve him a summons for court. Mom had him come in while she retrieved the exact address of his new apartment with new wife. Oh, yeah, that officer interrupted our time together & Mom put me in my cage when she saw that there was a deputy in the driveway. All KINDS of stuff was coming from my beak. Mom's face was bright red and the deputy asked who ELSE was in the home. Mom had him step over a bit and he could see where Mom had wheeled me into the kitchen. He waved at me!! So, being the polite bird that I am, I said really sweetly, "Hiiiii, baby!" I said it in Mom's voice. She then turned to scarlet. He kind of chuckled and thanked Mom for the note with her son's new address on it. He said I had made his day. And he DIDN'T SHOOT ME!!! Or Mom at that matter. Mom was at that point of pulling her hair out and for some reason, she didn't let me back OUT!!! I had repeated ALL the sayings I have heard humans use in situations that come up in life. I KNOW I spoke them exactly the way they meant them. Why was I being punished now? Mom called her son and told him she had two bars of
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