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BIRD TALK Top Complaints

Top complaints from BIRD TALK magazine editors and their birds

Bird Talk magazine
Melissa Kauffman, BIRD TALK magazine editorial director, and her two cockatiels, Carlise (left) and Natty Bird (right).

In the February 2008 issue of BIRD TALK magazine you found out the Top-5 complaints from bird owners and the Top-5 complaints from birds. Find out the BIRD TALK editors’ top complaints and the top complaints from their birds.

Assistant editor Jessica Pineda’s Top Complaint:
“Why is your contact call so loud? You are a very tiny bird; you should not be so loud! I understand that you want to know where I am going when I step out of the room, but do you have to use the ear-piercing shriek? My contact calls must not be loud enough for you, but I can’t yell back! The neighbor’s will think I’m crazy if I’m yelling, “I’ll be right there!”

Tori the lovebird’s Top Complaint:
“Up at 5AM again? You do realize I get up when you get up, right? I was quite comfortable in my tent with Josh, you know. Now I have to be up, because someone has to guard the cage. Who knows when those troublesome fingers might invade to take my food and water bowl away! My food and water bowl! Of all the nerve. Do I take your food and water away? Yes, I know they eventually come back, and the water bowl is free of the paper in it, but it was mine! And, by the way, do I get you up at five in the morning and turn on the lights? That’s right, I didn’t think so.”

Go back to sleep!

Editorial director Melissa Kauffman’s Top Complaints:
“Natty Bird is so demanding. He yells when he smells food, and he yells when he wants to go to bed, even if it isn’t bed time yet and my guinea pig and other cockatiel are still up playing.

Carlisle chews everything. His cage is filled with toys, but he prefers to chew books, picture frames and anything else that is precious to me.”

Cockatiels Natty Bird and Carlisle’s Top Complaints:
Natty Bird: “Melissa doesn’t pay enough attention to my needs. I smell some great food and have to wait and wait until she gives me a little taste. I like to go to bed in a timely manner, but she turns out the light when she feels it is bedtime, and then she is so slow about it. She messes around with the guinea pigs cage and gives us all fresh water so it takes forever before the light goes out.”

Carlisle: “I don’t have any complaints. Basically I do what I want and if Melissa yells and spoils my fun, I just hang out in my cage and when she isn’t looking go back and do it. It’s my world – she’s just here to please me.”

Editor Laura Doering’s Top Complaint:
“Ollie takes up all my shower time. I give him first dibs at being under the shower spray and then try to put him on top of the shower caddy so he can preen (he ignores the shower perch). How am I supposed to shampoo and lather holding a conure on my hand?

“Gracie, the cockatiel, is obsessed with looking at himself. Last week, he noticed his reflection in the window near his cage and now makes a beeline for that spot whenever possible. Then it’s incessant serenading.”

Gracie the cockatiel and Ollie the nanday conure’s Top Complaint:
Ollie: “Doesn’t she realize that it takes a lot to look as good as I do? I’m covered with feathers, and I like to have each and everyone thoroughly soaked. We conures love to bathe!”

Gracie: “What do you mean that other bird is me? … don’t be ridiculous! She’s just jealous because I’ve found someone who is so into me they copy my every move. It’s like we finish each other’s movements. I only wish I could open the window and let this gorgeous ’tiel in.”

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BIRD TALK Top Complaints

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Reader Comments
so cute
stephanie, no smithfield, RI
Posted: 12/27/2008 10:32:27 AM
i liked them very funny specially from the birds point of view
millie, pine bluff, AR
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:32:26 PM
Hahaha. So cute.
Jessica, Toronto, ON
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:25:45 PM
Great! Only you all seem to have only 2 to yell, eh, call to you. But I do love them. Keep up the good work.
Char, Reno, NV
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:02:40 PM
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