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Great-Billed Parrot from Dandridge, TN

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What the heck is Birdie Baseball? Birds can’t play baseball!

Of course birds can play baseball.

Birds are extremely intelligent and talented creatures. They do have problems with ice hockey, but baseball is no problem. The biggest problem birds have with baseball is to remember to keep both feet on the ground at all times! Not only is there no crying in baseball, there is no flying either!

Each team has ten players in the field, plus reserves and cheerleaders. We play our games at KEVLAR Memorial Stadium in Parrottsville, Tennessee. We have umpires who manage the games based on the roll of the dice. It is all a lot of fun and done in an effort to inspire a greater sense of community among parrot lovers everywhere.

We welcome all players from past seasons to participate even stronger this year. And we welcome new players to join every season.

Birdie Baseball’s 1st Commissioner
Timothy C. Graham
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Hi! My name is .

I am a Great-Billed Parrot from Dandridge, TN.

Kommish K

5 years old   F

Great-Billed Parrot

Corn Dogs on a Stick with LOTS of mustard!

In the luxury suite at Stadiums

Lock-outs ~~ Complaints ~~ Contract Negotiations

I get the high perch!

Spitting sun flower seeds. (Don’t tell the Players Union!).

“A good loser is greater than the greatest winner.”
~~ Timothy C. Graham

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Just dropping by witha v4U

King Oki and Queen Baby

Come visit me, Baby/Vote10K BCWarriors263181/mou- rningChiper257319 & Oki,/Vote BOTM K&Mikey229611/Mourni- ng Gizmo.

08/30/2012 03:00.52 PM Report This Comment  
boo boo and i would like to join a basball team this year if you have any openings. thankyou. love cori and boo boo

Come visit me, PaddyCake & PiddyGirl, CORI & BOO BOO.

01/20/2012 04:59.02 PM Report This Comment  
  To All Concerned:
I would like to say how pleased I was that you had such a great Birdie Baseball season. Timothy would have been so proud and I know he and Asha were rooting for you all from the other side of the Rainbow Bridge!!
Mrs. Tim

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

10/22/2011 10:33.11 AM Report This Comment  
  Ô` Hello, Mr H Lloyd Parrot
Thank you for stopping by the Commissioner's office with your question regarding the time of today's BazeBol Game.

The first pitch in today's game was thrown at 4:00 pm Eastern Time, and this is indeed a change from the regular season schedule. I apologize if the change caused you or anybirdy in your flock to arrive late or miss the game. The Umpire who had been responsible for Friday games during the regular season has great difficulty carrying on into the post season due to her day job. Therefore, the balance of the umpiring staff is able to maintain a consistent posting schedule at this point of the post season of 4:00 Eastern Time, as mentioned earlier.

If at any point in time during the season ... the regular season OR the post season ... you have a question about game time or game schedules, I direct your attention to the area of The BazeBol Page under "How we met:". The information posted there is constantly updated to reflect any changes as they occur. You may rely on the accuracy of what you see there. But I do recommend checking it regularly because of circumstances that may arise at a moment's notice for the League or Umpires creating the need to adjustment the information. Any adjustments would be posted there (such as a game postpostment).

And now, allow me to apologize for failing to respond to your inquiry earlier in the day. It was only after the completion of the game that I checked my mail and saw your note.

I hope that you will continue to use The Commissioner’s Office for obtaining answers to any of your Birdie BazeBol questions. It is, in great part, the reason the Office was created.

Have a nice day,
Ô` Kommissioner K

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

10/08/2011 04:21.35 PM Report This Comment  
  Excuse Commissioner
When is the playoff game today? Is it at 4 eastern or 5 eastern? Regular season Friday games were at 5. I am wondering if the post-season schedule is different. Harrold Lloyd Parrot

Come visit me, Duchess Malachite Bratbird, Hal - waiting at the Rainbow Bridge & Photon.

10/07/2011 07:09.41 AM Report This Comment  
  To the Commissioner and Umpires
09/21/2011 05:12.19 PM Report This Comment  
  Dear Commish
I don't know if this question is answerable, but I am curious. My Savage Sennies are in last place in the Talon League. Obviously we will not make the play offs, however since we have no further games this season per the schedule, is it possible we could move out of the the cellar if teams above us lose? Not that I want anybirdy to lose, but this is embarrassing!!

Come visit me, Kiddo loves SweetPepper!.

09/13/2011 12:45.46 PM Report This Comment  
  ((HUG)) Commish
Thank you for all you are doing. I was wondering about the team rosters. Is there anyway to get the rosters all on one or two pages? I am not adept enough to know the answer to that. It would be convenient to know which players are on which team.
Thank you.

Come visit me, Polly; Summertime! & Zippy; WOW, Thank You Friends for this honor!.

09/01/2011 01:00.45 PM Report This Comment  
  Thank you for responding to my question so
quickly...I think having them posted here as well would be a good idea as well.

Taz and Scooby


08/22/2011 04:29.22 PM Report This Comment  
  Ô` Hello, Mr Taz & Mr Scooby
Thank you so much for stopping by the Office of the Birdie Baseball Commissioner. Your question is one of the reasons for which the page was created.

Beginning last week, the current team standings were posted as an image in the gallery at the bottom of the KEVLAR Memorial Stadium page. If you will click on the thumbnail to enlarge it, you can read the teams' places in their own league's standings, the number of games won, the number of games lost, the total number of games played to date, the winning percentage, and the number of games they are out of first place for their league.

The standings are updated and posted each Sunday, with statistics through the previous Saturday included. (The date through which those stats extend is indicated on the image as well.)

I had considered posting each week's update on the Commissioner's page as well. Would you let me know if you think this would be a good idea? I would appreciate your input.

Once again, thank you for your question. Keep them coming!

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

08/22/2011 03:51.03 PM Report This Comment  
  Ô` Jenny Lynn, thank you for your question…
… regarding which birdies get to play in any given baseball game and which do not. In answer, let me reiterate a portion of the explanation of how a game of Birdie Baseball is played, from the first blog that was posted on The Office of the Birdie Baseball Commissioner’s page …

“The batting lineup for any one game is limited to 10 players. Any reserves on a team play throughout the season as well by rotating the lineup beginning with the next player in the lineup after batter number 10 from the previous game. And this rotation continues throughout the season in the same manner with each Umpire using their own rotation. How many games they have played for any given team is why you see different Umpires using different lineups at different times.”

This lineup is not impacted by the fact of what birdie does or does not actually show up for their games. It is strictly a function of the lineup submitted by each Coach at the start of the season.

I hope this answers your question completely. Should you have any other questions, please feel free to leave another note at the Commissioner’s Office, and I will be happy to do the best I can to respond.

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

08/22/2011 02:58.41 PM Report This Comment  
We were wondering if there is anywhere that the teams records are listed for the year? We are new to baseball this year and would like to know how all the teams are doing...

Thanks for all your hard work...

Taz and Scooby Doo


08/22/2011 01:04.34 PM Report This Comment  
  Ms. Commish...hang in there
We completely agree with Kiddo and his Mom!!

We are Rainforest Raiders Fred & Ethyl.

Jenn Lynn stated that her team backed her up NEARLY 100%....we are here to say that percentage is inflated. We have kept our beaks glued shut over the last few weeks out of embarrassment. Nobirdie LIKES to lose, of course not, but WE NEVER CARED whether our team's score was higher or lower. We were here for the fun, that included Coach JL's funny remarks here and there....but then things went too far...way way too far. Throwing a temper tantrum as a coach is not only poor sportsmanship (even in a virtual arena) but a poor example to your players. We know how hard the umps work at making the other birds have a good time at the ball park. We for two did not endorse the slander and the intentional mud slinging that our coach dished out, hence our embarrassment over the behavior of one who is supposed to lead our fine team. There is funny...then there is Jenny Lynn's recent behavior. Two completely different things with a big fat line between the two. We were hoping she would settle down and realize that it's not nice to call people (or other birds) names, and insult them over and over...(nobirdie ever did THAT to JL) but she did not cool down. She has only gotten worse, and because of that we feel we need to make our opinions clear so that we may not be grouped with those "backing up" her poor behavior. We understand we may end up being subjects of her attacks as well now, but right is right and wrong is wrong, and JL is clearly wrong. If those who "back her up" were 100% aware of her hurtful remarks they surely would not endorse her behavior. No, it was not possible for our Mom to escort us to every game, we have participated as best we could. Our fister Peanut was one of Birdie Baseball's first players back with Coach Norman years ago, our fids have played for YEARS, we LOVE the game.
Every bird in this house appreciates the hard work that goes into playing these games, and if one bird thinks every game is all about her, then she has forgotten her team.
I wish for JL to lose her anger and be funny once again, I also hope she can see that big fat line between right and wrong and the fun she's taking from others.

~~Fred & Ethyl

Come visit me, Buddy, Peanut, Rio, Ducky, Fred & Ethyl & Petrie.

08/22/2011 06:54.10 AM Report This Comment  
  Dear Commish
Acting or otherwise, I think you are doing a great job. As the newest ump (having only refereed one game), I know how much work is involved in each and every game. It is entirely by chance who wins, and as you have already pointed out the Zons are hardly the first team to have an extended losing streak. As a matter of fact the Rainforest Raiders are not in last place in their league. It is totally random how the numbers fall, and win or lose it is just a game and a virtual one at that.
I think the point Jenny Lynn is missing in her declaration about freedom of speech is the fact that that was never in question. Freedom of speech is definitely one of our inalienable rights here in America. However slander or defamation of character are another matter entirely.
I have often been quite amused by JL's rants and tirades, but this time I believe, as the other umpires concurred, she went too far and needed to be reined in. This doesn't mean I don't look forward to her coming back to the games after her suspension. She is still team captain of her team and a valued member of Birdie Baseball overall.
Kiddo & Kiddo's mom

Come visit me, Kiddo loves SweetPepper!.

08/20/2011 02:16.26 PM Report This Comment  
  Ms. Commish (((HUG)))
I want to thank you for the GREAT service of running the birdie baseball, that is a BIG job.
Just so you know that I do appreciate the job you are doing. I still ask mercy for Coach Jenny Lynn, and will carry my parasol so saying to games. Thank you that there ARE games.

Come visit me, Polly; Summertime! & Zippy; WOW, Thank You Friends for this honor!.

08/20/2011 09:57.47 AM Report This Comment  
08/20/2011 06:32.32 AM Report This Comment  
  08/19/2011 07:45.54 PM Report This Comment  
  Ms Kommish
Thank you for the explanation. I really was wondering what it was all about. I do not know how many games are left, or how many Jenny has missed. Still, I beg mercy for her. Maybe we could make her stay on a brick perch.

Come visit me, Polly; Summertime! & Zippy; WOW, Thank You Friends for this honor!.

08/19/2011 04:54.14 PM Report This Comment  
RE: 3-Game Suspension of Amazon Rainforest Raiders Coach, Jenny Lynn

There seems to be a gross misconception of the reason for suspending Amazon Rainforest Raiders Coach, Jennifer Lynn. This posting is to make clear that Jenny Lynn is NOT being suspended for any ”freedom of speech” infractions or for ACCEPTABLE fun antics before, during, or after baseballs games at KEVLAR Memorial Stadium. The issue behind her 3-game suspension is of a much more serious nature, and the actions for which she is being disciplined should be offensive to all involved in Birdie Baseball, players as well as spectators.

But before we get ahead of ourselves, Jenny Lynn, I would like to address your note of August 16, left at “The Office of the Birdie Baseball Commissioner” point by point:

1. You most certainly may form a Player’s Committee if you wish. Though I do not see the necessity, it would need to be representative of the entire League.
2. You are most certainly welcome to plead your case to the staff [i.e. team of Umpires], though it seems you already have.
3. You stated that you have not seen a team go through so many consecutive losses without a win since Birdie Baseball started. You are correct. To date, your Rainforest Raiders are poised at a 10-game losing streak. However, this is not completely out of proportion to other losing streaks the Birdie Baseball League has seen since its inception. In the current 2011 Season, the CrackerJack Conures just recently broke a 9-game losing streak. In 2010, the Timneh African Greys experienced a 9-game losing streak as well. In 2009 the Kevlar Keets’ also experienced a 9-game losing streak. There have also been slightly lesser losing streaks of 7, 6, and 5 consecutive losses from 2011 back through 2009. The 2008 season consisted of only 4 teams, and the statistics are not available for that season. And Birdie Baseball was actually birthed in 2007 with only 2 teams and a 7-game series.
4. You are correct again with regard to trash talking being, and always having been, a part of the fun of Birdie Baseball.
5. According to Roget’s Thesaurus “accuse” and “insinuate” are synonymous.
6. The email you received informing you of your 3-game suspension was delivered by that method out of respect and regard for your privacy. Your description of it as “nasty” is now open to the interpretation of the general population of the Birdie Baseball League, and the BirdChannel population at large.

Before I publish the email in its entirety, and on behalf of the Umpiring Team who signed off on the decision, I would also like to clarify one more misconception. There is a great distinction between being “suspended” for 3 games, and being “banned” from Birdie Baseball. If you were to be banned from the sport, it would be permanent. This is a disciplinary action, and therefore temporary, for a specified length of time.

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

08/19/2011 04:22.58 PM Report This Comment  
From: ‘Eva K…..’
Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 7:23 AM
To: 'Chuck D…..'
Cc: 'Denise …..'; 'Karen …..'; 'Pam …..'
Subject: Birdie Baseball

Dear Chuck,

It is a sad day in Birdie Baseball when a player calls into question the integrity of the Officiating Staff of the sport. However [not so thinly] veiled the accusation is, it has been implied that the results of the Amazon Rainforest Raiders’ games have not been arrived at fairly, and that it is suspected to be because the player is not held in the highest esteem by the Umpiring Team.

I dare say this is offensive to each and every Umpire given that each has played games for every team in the League this season. Since there is nothing truly at stake in Birdie Baseball, and it is played strictly to provide an opportunity for fun and interaction between birds, these statements are inappropriate and uncalled-for.

Chuck, Jenny Lynn, Captain and Manager of the Amazon Rainforest Raiders, in her comments following the game between your team and Da Pois ‘N’ Dem this Saturday past, it is clear that you feel you have been wronged in the way the Umpires have “rolled the dice” for your team. I can assure you, you have not.

In order to appease your fears, allow me to briefly explain how it is that a game of Birdie Baseball is played….


Therefore, for Jenny Lynn’s unbecoming and unsportsmanlike comments accusing your very own Officials of cheating you or your team out of winning baseballs games for any reason, THIS IS YOUR THIRD OFFENSE AGAINST BIRDIE BASEBALL THIS SEASON. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ON EACH OF THE OTHER TWO OCCASIONS. THE FIRST BY COMMISSIONER TIM, AND THE SECOND BY ME. * This time there will be a consequence. Jenny Lynn will be required to sit out the next three Rainforest Raiders games. I can see no other way to put an end to this distasteful attitude. And end it must.

This disciplinary action has been arrived at by a consensus of the Umpiring Team.

Eva Kline
Acting Birdie Baseball Commissioner

*Caps added for this printing only.

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

08/19/2011 04:22.52 PM Report This Comment  
  Ô` Returning to the misconception of the reason
… for suspending Jenny Lynn, you will note a section in the second to last paragraph of the above email that has been capitalized for purposes of this discussion. Jenny Lynn’s warnings regarding unsportsmanlike conduct began this season even before Birdie Baseball lost our own Commissioner Tim. There was an incident in which she described climbing the stands and charging birdie[s] with the intent to do bodily harm. Commissioner Tim phoned Jenny Lynn’s dad at the time and let it be known in no uncertain terms that this was totally unacceptable and not to be repeated. I know because Tim phoned me to tell me of the incident, his conversation with Jenny Lynn’s dad, and Jenny’s dad’s promise that it would not happen again.

Then on July 4, following the Rainforest Raiders’ loss, Jenny Lynn described an actual assault on the opposing team captain in a blog that was deleted almost before anyone ever knew it had been posted. At that time, I both emailed Jenny Lynn’s dad and spoke with him on the phone and was given another promise that an incident like this would not occur again.

It is neither funny, nor silly, nor sweet to threaten bodily injury to another bird, even in a virtual environment. There are humans behind these birds and it is not only unsportsmanlike, but inconsiderate.

Granted, while what we [the Umpiring Team] are considering her third offense is not of a physical nature, it is highly offensive to Birdie Baseball nonetheless, especially to those of us who dedicate exceeding amounts of time and energy to operate this League for your enjoyment, and to birdies on those teams who have also experienced a number of consecutive losses, and remained true to the spirit of Birdie Baseball without accusation. To quote one Umpire, “As you know, the spirit of BC baseball is all about fun. When you have parronts that take things too serious, show bad sportsmanship and say that umpires are cheating- it is like a slap in the face. The amount of time put in by umpires, approximately 150 games over 6 months, shows an incredible dedication to BC Baseball.”

Mrs. Tim has weighed in on this situation and has said that “Timothy would never let something like this go on.” I invite you to look at the Motto posted on The Office of the Birdie Baseball Commissioner’s Page which is a quote that Mrs. Tim gave me saying that if she heard her husband say it once, she heard him say it a thousand times.

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

08/19/2011 04:22.48 PM Report This Comment  
This is your opportunity to weigh in on the subject. And THIS is the venue to present your appeals and opinions. You may do so without fear of repercussions of any kind. I invite you to use this page for the purpose for which it was created. But I ask you to keep in mind that, along with the freedom of speech, or any freedom really, comes the obligation to exercise it responsibly.

Your Birdie Baseball Umpiring Team

Acting Commissioner K
Norman’s Mom
Umpire McLyn
Kiddo’s Mom

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

08/19/2011 04:22.44 PM Report This Comment  
Ms Commissioner ma'am. Could you please reconsider Jenny Lynn's suspension, I think many, many, many birdies miss her on the field.
Zippy, not a player this season

Come visit me, Polly; Summertime! & Zippy; WOW, Thank You Friends for this honor!.

08/19/2011 12:38.22 PM Report This Comment  
  08/18/2011 02:01.47 PM Report This Comment  
  Ô¯ Interim Birdie Baseball Commissioner K Here …
Here, briefly, is an explanation of how it is that a game of Birdie Baseball is played.

Each player is asked to submit a series of 15 numbers from 1 thru 12 at the beginning of the season. These are then recorded on the team’s batting line-up (a predetermined order based on how each coach submits the required form for the team) in the order in which you have given them to your Coach.

Next, there are 12 “probablilites” for plays: A Walk, 2-Singles, a Double, a Triple, a Home Run, 2-Strike Outs, 2-Fly Outs, and 2-Ground Outs. (These are the invention of the gracious lady who designed the method for playing Birdie Baseball, Norman’s mom; the 1st Birdie Baseball Umpire.) It is these 12 probabilities that are determined by the “roll of the dice”. For the most part, the Umpires use a computer generated random dice roller to obtain the values assigned to each probability. These values are determined newly for each game, ONLY ONCE for each game, AT THE BEGINNING of the game.

The batting lineup for any one game is limited to 10 players. Any reserves on a team play throughout the season as well by rotating the lineup beginning with the next player in the lineup after batter number 10 from the previous game. And this rotation continues throughout the season in the same manner with each Umpire using their own rotation How many games they have played for any given team is why you see different Umpires using different lineups at different times.

Beginning with batter number 1, the first number in his/her sequence is matched to the probability value of a play FOR THAT GAME and that determines the play he/she makes. The first number in the sequence for batter number 2 is then matched to its probability value, and so on and so on. The player’s sequence of numbers is not started over for each game, but continued from where it was left off from the previous game in which he/she played. (For instance, in a game recently played, the first number to come up for batter number 1 since she last played in a game was 11, and so her play was a Double according to the probability values “rolled” for Saturday’s game. Then next batter’s sequential number was 9, which was a Single according to the probability values.)

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

08/16/2011 05:20.10 AM Report This Comment  
  Hopefully you can see that the Umpires work with what is in front of them in the form of numbers only. And the game is played as a matching and reporting process. It can, indeed, seem very confusing and this is why so few parronts are willing to step up to be Umpires. It is exceedingly time consuming. And they are owed a huge debt of gratitude for their contribution to the very existence of Birdie Baseball! What you get to “hear” when you attend each game is the result of all the time and effort to play each game, PLUS the time to report it in a fashion that gives you the fun and experience of actually “being there” as each game is played!

And the entire Umpiring Team is always tickled to hear your words of appreciation and encouragement for their efforts. It is, after all, our salary!!!

Have you (((HUGGED))) an Umpire today?!

Brought to you by the Office of The Birdie BaseBall Commissioner.
Acting Commissioner Eva

Come visit me, *, ,, Asha & Mr Tim ~ Forever In Our Hearts, ` & ..

08/16/2011 05:20.06 AM Report This Comment  
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